Well, before it's too late to greet 2013 and to say bye bye to 2012. I decide to write this post.
Others could write and share their own kaleidoscope, others could write and share the story of their new year eve, others could write and share about their new year resolution. But me? Umm.. I still don't know what specific topic to talk about.
Well, let's talk about what happened there in 2012.
Things change as time passes.
At the very first beginning of 2012, I remember, I never thought and expected things would run and end like this.
I never thought and expected I would lose the person I love the most
I never thought and expected I would get the second highest exam score at my province
I never thought and expected I would end up here, in Jakarta
I never thought and expected I would write this post at 2013
All my wishes were “semoga kehidupan di 2012 bisa lancar” and my particular wishes, “semoga papa sehat, semoga keterima metalurgi”
Then, what happened? Oh guys, I didn't set up my parameter of 'lancar' at first. If 'lancar' meant no burden and no struggle, my wishes didn't come true. How could I say it came true meanwhile at the fourth month of 2012 my daddy left me? How could I say it came true meanwhile I didn't accepted in metalurgi? And how could I say it came true meanwhile sometimes but so often, I cried in the middle of the night whenever I realize that my daddy has left me? Life didn't run smoothly
But then again, if 'lancar' meant I could pass 2012 and meet 2013, yes, it comes true.
I didn't expect the best, actually. I only expected things to run normally and not change. But yeah, life is unexpectable, isn't it?
We as a human, we usually expect the best. We usually expect the highes. And when life srikes you and kicks us to the bottom? We can only cry and regret.
January to June:
After he left me, I really wish that he did never really go
July: 5 July 2012. Started living alone in Jakarta. Well, believe it or not, 5 July in every year somehow offers me 'something'. In 5 July 2010 I started my journey as one of delegation from Indonesia to Japan for 10 days. In 5 July 2011 I --as a member of one in top 10 team in LPPSA-- started studying how to make a good film in FFTV IKJ. And yeah, 5 July 2012, I changed my status from 'anak rumahan' to 'anak kosan'. Like it or not, I had to. Life's not about living what we like, right?
August: first ramadhan and idul fitri away from home, papa, mama, close family. I never thought and expected I would spent my ramadhan in Bandung. My mommy asked me to go home, 3 times. I rejected 3 times. It wasn't because I didn't love her. It wasn't because I didn't want to be at Ternate. It was actually I did the rational thinking. I just left ternate for like less than 2 months. I didn't want to burden her by asking to go home. I knew it was her willingness. But still, if the money could be saved for future needs, then why should be spent much in something unnecessary? Besides, I did calculate the cost. If I went back to Ternate, it would cost much. Much. Much. Seriously, it cost much.
Well it still felt warm to be there. It was my uncle's house. They were nice and welcoming. They also prepared things for me. A comfy room, favorite food, internet, many more.
So bad, I couldn't attend Peringatan 100 hari meninggalnya Alm. Sofyan Djahir, my daddy. At the day, they invited me to join them shopping at PVJ, paris van java, a mall in bandung. Yes I joined them. But still, I felt like it wasn't enjoyable, I didn't feel like I like those outfits there. I thought about going home, I thought about visitting my daddy's grave. I thought about my daddy.
It sucks, yes it really does. I cried after I broke my fast. I cried in my Maghrib pray. I cried in the middle of reciting Yasin for my daddy. I cried in my prayers. I miss him.
At last, a week later, they still invited me to shop and buy stuffs for idul fitri. They bought me a top. And my aunt gave me a skirt. They were kind.
My first idul fitri far away from home was also painful. The flashback of previous idul fitri were playing at my brain like a film. Sad.
I had a very enjoyable holiday there during the last days in Bandung
September: highlight of the month? UB's Week. It was so epic. Epic. Epic. I think I should write b post about UB's Week.
Well besides UB's week, I started to be a colleger in this month. Bad news? I got sick, maag, vomits and weak, after 2 classes at my first day of college. My stomach is vulnerable, actually.
October: it's my birthday! 29th day of october is a very special day of mine. It's the day when I get older.
At the night of 28 october, I recited Yasin for my daddy. 27 october 2012 was precisely 6th month after he left. I prayed for him. In my prayers, I also thanked God for sending him for me for 17 years. And as usual, I cried. I miss my daddy. I remembered all my previous birthday that were always been celebrated no matter what. I remembered how I used to share him my second cake, because my first cake was for my mom. I regreted how I never gave him the chance to get my first cake. I fell asleep while crying.
It was twelve o'clock. People knocked my door, I opened but there were anyone. “maybe it's part of my dream” I closed the door and checked my phone, wishing somebody text and saying happy birthday. And, my phone was actually running out of battery. So I charged it then go to bed.
People knocked my door, I got upset. Thinking that I was being played. There was actually a piece of paper in my doorstep. I didn't notice it until I saw my friends in kosan and they asked me to. I watched a video they just created hours before. They showed up with an arrangement of jpops and candle, looked like birthday cake and they were singing happy birthday. Ah so touchy!
In the morning, I went to campus. I wasn't really happy. I was sad. I wanted my daddy to be there. But I didn't show it. Who would care if I was sad?
During the class, my eyes could stare at the board. But my brain was thinking about my daddy. I didn't realize that everyone in the class, (included seniors, it was a tutorial class before mid term) has set up a plan to put me in the middle of trouble. I almost cried. But then they played me a stopmotion, created by Arie Trifiantie. This thing, was so touchy! Please check happy birthday mini cornetto for the stopmotion
In the afternoon, we went to Yoshinoya. I bought them jco donnuts, though. Hahahaha
Then we went to Inul Vista for singing karaoke. And in the night, I had dinner with my family here.
I got many presents/gifts. I got chocolates. I got flowers. I got outfits. I got cookies. I even got one from the senior I was admiring hahahaha happy for that.
At last, my birthday might seem almost perfect. But then again, it wasn't that perfect as I wish my daddy were still here.
November: first exam in Universitas Bakrie, Mid term exam.The nerve. The heartbeat. The tension. I felt them all. My preparation? Bad. I studied a night before the test. I slept for just 4 hours to catch up the matters. Bakrie's exam system applied was different. There were cctv everywhere. There were also someone watched us. No cheating. Umm, it wasnot because I hoped I could cheat. No. I don't like cheating. But compared to other campus, seriously, I believe that they get the 'opportunity' to cheat.
And yeah finally I got my first scores. I was so grateful I could get those scores. It was normal and standard actually. But I saw my friends. Some friends. Not many of them, just 7-8 friends among 28 students got higher scores than me in some certain classes. I didn't get annoyed or somewhat. But I secretly felt the envious. Moreover, one among my friends said things to motivate me, and yes I really wanted to change. SKS or Sistem Kebut Semalam is actually painful and so much tiring.
December: 10 days of holiday? Not so exciting, because it worth the assignments given. I worked for my papers. Researching to different library, writing thoughts, were the activity I did during my holiday.
A day before 31 december, ka tika invited me to join her and her family celebrating new year. I said yes. I joined them since 11pm in 31 december. We went to a mall. Salon (but I didn't do any treatment), lunch and shopping. Then we went to alam sutera, tangerang. We had dinner in Bandar Djakarta. Then we planned to go to Teras Kota for the countdown. Turned out we got traffic jam, I fell asleep in the car, and all I knew was, they woke me up to watch the fireworks. I didn't know where exactly the place was, but I found out that it was somewhere near daan mogot.
And those are the moments. The lesson learned? So many, of course.
1. Love people around before they leave you. You'll regret everything when you've lost someone/something
2. Watch and enjoy things. Time passes so fast. Sometimes we never realize we have actually got our memorable moments til time pass and there's a change
3. Manage well your time. Taking risks also means taking consequences. Before it's too late and before you mess things up, better set up a good time-management.
Happy new year, guys! It's midnight already. I better go to bed now or I will come late tomorrow at the morning class. See you in the next post ;)
July: 5 July 2012. Started living alone in Jakarta. Well, believe it or not, 5 July in every year somehow offers me 'something'. In 5 July 2010 I started my journey as one of delegation from Indonesia to Japan for 10 days. In 5 July 2011 I --as a member of one in top 10 team in LPPSA-- started studying how to make a good film in FFTV IKJ. And yeah, 5 July 2012, I changed my status from 'anak rumahan' to 'anak kosan'. Like it or not, I had to. Life's not about living what we like, right?
August: first ramadhan and idul fitri away from home, papa, mama, close family. I never thought and expected I would spent my ramadhan in Bandung. My mommy asked me to go home, 3 times. I rejected 3 times. It wasn't because I didn't love her. It wasn't because I didn't want to be at Ternate. It was actually I did the rational thinking. I just left ternate for like less than 2 months. I didn't want to burden her by asking to go home. I knew it was her willingness. But still, if the money could be saved for future needs, then why should be spent much in something unnecessary? Besides, I did calculate the cost. If I went back to Ternate, it would cost much. Much. Much. Seriously, it cost much.
Well it still felt warm to be there. It was my uncle's house. They were nice and welcoming. They also prepared things for me. A comfy room, favorite food, internet, many more.
So bad, I couldn't attend Peringatan 100 hari meninggalnya Alm. Sofyan Djahir, my daddy. At the day, they invited me to join them shopping at PVJ, paris van java, a mall in bandung. Yes I joined them. But still, I felt like it wasn't enjoyable, I didn't feel like I like those outfits there. I thought about going home, I thought about visitting my daddy's grave. I thought about my daddy.
It sucks, yes it really does. I cried after I broke my fast. I cried in my Maghrib pray. I cried in the middle of reciting Yasin for my daddy. I cried in my prayers. I miss him.
At last, a week later, they still invited me to shop and buy stuffs for idul fitri. They bought me a top. And my aunt gave me a skirt. They were kind.
My first idul fitri far away from home was also painful. The flashback of previous idul fitri were playing at my brain like a film. Sad.
I had a very enjoyable holiday there during the last days in Bandung
September: highlight of the month? UB's Week. It was so epic. Epic. Epic. I think I should write b post about UB's Week.
Well besides UB's week, I started to be a colleger in this month. Bad news? I got sick, maag, vomits and weak, after 2 classes at my first day of college. My stomach is vulnerable, actually.
October: it's my birthday! 29th day of october is a very special day of mine. It's the day when I get older.
At the night of 28 october, I recited Yasin for my daddy. 27 october 2012 was precisely 6th month after he left. I prayed for him. In my prayers, I also thanked God for sending him for me for 17 years. And as usual, I cried. I miss my daddy. I remembered all my previous birthday that were always been celebrated no matter what. I remembered how I used to share him my second cake, because my first cake was for my mom. I regreted how I never gave him the chance to get my first cake. I fell asleep while crying.
It was twelve o'clock. People knocked my door, I opened but there were anyone. “maybe it's part of my dream” I closed the door and checked my phone, wishing somebody text and saying happy birthday. And, my phone was actually running out of battery. So I charged it then go to bed.
People knocked my door, I got upset. Thinking that I was being played. There was actually a piece of paper in my doorstep. I didn't notice it until I saw my friends in kosan and they asked me to. I watched a video they just created hours before. They showed up with an arrangement of jpops and candle, looked like birthday cake and they were singing happy birthday. Ah so touchy!
In the morning, I went to campus. I wasn't really happy. I was sad. I wanted my daddy to be there. But I didn't show it. Who would care if I was sad?
During the class, my eyes could stare at the board. But my brain was thinking about my daddy. I didn't realize that everyone in the class, (included seniors, it was a tutorial class before mid term) has set up a plan to put me in the middle of trouble. I almost cried. But then they played me a stopmotion, created by Arie Trifiantie. This thing, was so touchy! Please check happy birthday mini cornetto for the stopmotion
In the afternoon, we went to Yoshinoya. I bought them jco donnuts, though. Hahahaha
Then we went to Inul Vista for singing karaoke. And in the night, I had dinner with my family here.
I got many presents/gifts. I got chocolates. I got flowers. I got outfits. I got cookies. I even got one from the senior I was admiring hahahaha happy for that.
At last, my birthday might seem almost perfect. But then again, it wasn't that perfect as I wish my daddy were still here.
November: first exam in Universitas Bakrie, Mid term exam.The nerve. The heartbeat. The tension. I felt them all. My preparation? Bad. I studied a night before the test. I slept for just 4 hours to catch up the matters. Bakrie's exam system applied was different. There were cctv everywhere. There were also someone watched us. No cheating. Umm, it wasnot because I hoped I could cheat. No. I don't like cheating. But compared to other campus, seriously, I believe that they get the 'opportunity' to cheat.
And yeah finally I got my first scores. I was so grateful I could get those scores. It was normal and standard actually. But I saw my friends. Some friends. Not many of them, just 7-8 friends among 28 students got higher scores than me in some certain classes. I didn't get annoyed or somewhat. But I secretly felt the envious. Moreover, one among my friends said things to motivate me, and yes I really wanted to change. SKS or Sistem Kebut Semalam is actually painful and so much tiring.
December: 10 days of holiday? Not so exciting, because it worth the assignments given. I worked for my papers. Researching to different library, writing thoughts, were the activity I did during my holiday.
A day before 31 december, ka tika invited me to join her and her family celebrating new year. I said yes. I joined them since 11pm in 31 december. We went to a mall. Salon (but I didn't do any treatment), lunch and shopping. Then we went to alam sutera, tangerang. We had dinner in Bandar Djakarta. Then we planned to go to Teras Kota for the countdown. Turned out we got traffic jam, I fell asleep in the car, and all I knew was, they woke me up to watch the fireworks. I didn't know where exactly the place was, but I found out that it was somewhere near daan mogot.
And those are the moments. The lesson learned? So many, of course.
1. Love people around before they leave you. You'll regret everything when you've lost someone/something
2. Watch and enjoy things. Time passes so fast. Sometimes we never realize we have actually got our memorable moments til time pass and there's a change
3. Manage well your time. Taking risks also means taking consequences. Before it's too late and before you mess things up, better set up a good time-management.
Happy new year, guys! It's midnight already. I better go to bed now or I will come late tomorrow at the morning class. See you in the next post ;)
1 comments:
happy new year yen. hope 2013 will be better :)
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