New haircut for a better luck

Yes. I'm cutting my hair. And yes, when most of people do feel stressful over something, they cut their hair. 

at least, I don't deny the fact that I cut my hair because I also somehow feel the same way. I don't know how and what to describe about my feeling. it's just all things I've been feeling are accumulated and voila, I'm feeling so miserably bad.
Not that I'm feeling any disappointment towards several things. It's just I hate when some people seem so underestimate me. oh no, maybe I overrate myself.  
that's only a tiny part of my accumulated feeling. yeah, basically I am now on the point where I question myself: What do I actually chase?
the question that has been hanging and hasn't been answered yet. I know I am now in college. my main obligation is to study. In addition, I'm here because I am given the scholarship that bind me. yeah, binding. I have to get a 3.00++ GPA if I don't want to be kicked. my obligation to study is getting bigger because of that reason. but look what have been happened in my second semester here. I am feeling like I'm so....I don't know what's the correct word/sentence to describe it. 
I also am passionate doing a thing. I sacrifice things. but what happens? I can't give my best. it's just hurting. as hurting as when you love someone and you can't give them what they ask. 
another thing, I secretly am aiming for something. but yeah. it's just something I keep in secrecy. no one knows, and what happened later was the path of me aiming what I wanted is getting further and further and even disappearing.
so again, what do I actually chase? I am neither the best in college nor in what I'm passionate nor even in my silent obsession.
the question is left hanging. Maybe I just a lil envy looking at the shine that some people show in their first year in College. yeah. Maybe I'm not serious enough in prioritize things and chase what I really want.

but then again, I cut my hair. I'm feeling relieved. I'm feeling like half or more than half of all rubbish in my head are also gone with my hair. don't know if I'm going to shine soon. but everything takes time and process. even stars need darkness to show their light. but I'm pursuing it. I'll get the time to shine :)